5 Reasons Why I Waited To Move In
Hello friends! So here I am, sitting in my “new to me” house that my husband of about one week bought over the summer! Yes! There are a lot of “new things” in my life right now and I’m perfectly fine with it.
Last Saturday my husband and I finally tied the knot after one year of friendship and then one year of courtship! Believe me, the wait was very long, but extremely worth it! We strived (and still strive) to keep God the center of our relationship no matter what!
Before I continue this post I want to mention that I am not writing to shame anyone…I am only sharing my thoughts and beliefs.
When my husband and I first got engaged we made a vow to each other that we would not kiss or engage in sexual activity. With this being said, we decided together that we would not live with each other until after the wedding. In fact, we tried to keep our alone time to a minimum. We created boundaries and we kept them. Was this easy? No! Was it worth it? Yes!
I have had several dozen people ask me why we decided to wait to move in together until after the wedding. When this question came about, I wanted to reply with several different answers because there was never just one clear answer regarding this question! …and that’s why I am writing this blog! So here they are…the top 5 reasons why I waited to move in.
1. Raising The Gate To The Boundaries: As I had mentioned above, we had set boundaries in place way before we even started courting. We had been very open with each other regarding what we felt should be saved for marriage (we may have slipped a kiss or two a couple of weeks before the wedding). With this in mind, moving in together would have literally broke down the gates to the boundaries set in place. It would have been nearly impossible to keep our boundaries! We both knew God's Will for our relationship and we knew that living together would hinder that process. We didn't need to "try out" each other or see if we could "stand to live together" because we both had assurance through our friendship and our courtship that God orchestrated this perfectly! (Even though we both could get on each other's nerves...love is a choice that we made and make daily and it conquers all)
2. Creating a sacred place in our hearts and our home: We talked about this thought frequently. We wanted our home to be a sacred place...a clean place that is covered by God. We both agreed that the less sin we allowed in our house, the cleaner it would be. Now clearly we are human and sin is something that we can't escape; however, it is something that we can try to control personally with God's help! It would have been extremely difficult to continue this thought if we had moved in together before our marriage. Temptation would be everywhere and sin would have been right around the corner...and we all know that satan loves to mess around in that!
3. Respecting each other in every way, shape, and form: Respect! A word so small, but with such a large meaning. Without respect, we would have fallen apart. With respect comes many other attributes to a great relationship. Living together before marriage would have distorted the view of respect. Our ideas of what is right and what is wrong would have been thrown out the window...the respect we both should have been giving to each other would have been nearly crushed due to selfish desires. Our idea of marriage would have been distorted as well...what would have been the point to getting married when we already were living as a married couple? Life commitment is a whole new level of respect that can only be met through marriage.
4. To live according to His word: This one is pretty obvious. God's word is very clear on marriage and the ideas behind it. We are told to not commit adultery...this would be nearly impossible to do when living with the person whom you want to marry in the future and we recognized it right off the bat. The new thought that enters in is "well, we are going to get married here in the next year, so what's the point in waiting?" I'm not going to lie and say that the exact thought didn't cross my mind a few times...but that is how satan works. He tends to take what's good and attempts to make it evil. I'm proud to say that I did wait! Waiting isn't easy, but I do believe that the regret of not waiting would be a lot harder! Sometimes things don't work out as you think they should...God always has a plan...but it is much easier to leave what is good alone and move on knowing that you did your best by following God's command...rather than looking back and regretting past actions. Wait...it's worth it!
5. To start brand new: here's a good one! New beginnings are always wonderful, aren't they? Marriage allows a whole new beginning with the love of your life. If you are like me, it was a whole new beginning with the love of my life in a whole new house that I had never slept in before with a whole new kitchen ready for me to cook in and a whole new list of chores needed to be done and a whole new lifestyle that I had never lived. Sounds overwhelming, doesn't it? To be honest, I was never once overwhelmed because I knew God was wrapping his arms around both of us through the beautiful chaos of the newlywed life.
God is blessing us for waiting and God is showing us the beautiful outcome of our boundaries. God's word does not change and His love for us goes on and on! He is the reason for the love my husband and I share and He is the reason why my husband and I will continue to try to be the best that we can be for each other. We will fail...but God will always be right there to pick us back up. God is there for you too!
Love you bunches!
Your friend,
Caitlyn Leigh Hecker
