♥ Discerning The Voice Of God Bible Study--Week 2 ♥

First of all I just want to say that it is so awesome that I go to a church with people who are so intelligent in knowing about the Word of God. I love going to a Bible study where everyone is older than me because it gives me a chance to hear all of their amazing stories of how God changed their lives and how He continues to grow in them each day. It is very inspiring to hear others talk about God and how they have gone through similar experiences in their life. I am learning so much through this Bible study. Not only am I learning through the Bible study book, but I am learning through the people around me and their experiences.

Being young and feeling so "lost" at times can be very hard. I love going to this Bible study because it gives me hope that there are others out there that want God's will just as much as I do. Going to college and being the minority isn't easy; however, God has given me many opportunities to speak into peoples lives. When I graduate Cowley, I want to have no regrets. I want people to remember me as the girl who was a Christian and stood out in a crowd. I want to be remembered as different.

This week I learned so much! It is so important to hear from God. I learned that the Holy Spirit is the equipment I need to pick up what God has to say. If we are not hearing from God then somewhere there is an interference that is blocking us from hearing God. There can be many things that interfere between the connection with God.  Sometimes we hear God's voice but then the enemy convinces us that what we are hearing is just made up in our minds. If it lines up with the Word, it is usually God.

I know the Lord is speaking to me when the voice I hear is always challenging, always convincing and never allows me to be comfortable where I am. Not having a father, what an honor it is to have One who loves me so much that His greatest desire is to see me grow. --Kirk Franklin

When you become a Christian you aren't changed, you are exchanged! That quote is so strong to me. When we become a Christian we need to start molding into what God is calling us to be. The only way that can happen is if we can hear His voice.

In our book it was talking about being a passive listener and an aggressive listener. I thought about in my speech class that I took my freshman year of college. The speaker isn't going to want to keep speaking if you are sitting back in your chair, yawning, and not caring at all about what the speaker has to say. But...if you sit on the edge of your chair, nodding your head, being attentive to what the speaker is saying, he will keep talking and you will understand what the speaker is saying more clearly.

We need to be excited and attentive to what God is saying. If we aren't listening and caring about what God has to say, are we being the people God has called us to be? Take time to listen to God's voice and act upon that.

1. Expect to hear from Him
2. Be patient
3. Plan to obey
4. Take time to listen
5. Have faith in what you heard

--Thanks for reading! ♥ God Bless!

♥ Discerning The Voice Of God--Bible Study Week 1 ♥

Hey everyone! So yeah, I went to another one of our women's Bible studies today. I always look forward to them. This is my third one that I've been to and I get blessed every time I go. It always amazes me how God talks to me and the ways that He does it.

The title alone was a big deal for me! Everyone always says that God talks to them...but I always wondered how it happens for everyone else! God talks to me in so many different ways; however, sometimes it's hard to respond. I hate getting put in that "awkward" position. God definitely knows how to take me out of my comfort zone.

I absolutely love hearing from God...sometimes I don't really love what He has to say. Being in a college (worldly) atmosphere is not always a walk in the park. God tells me things on a day to day basis that I should do for Him and to further His Kingdom. Sometimes I decide "Oh, I will just do it later" or "Oh, someone else can take care of it". That's not right at all. There may not be another time for that person. I may be his/her only chance. If it only takes me getting out of my comfort zone to help a person devote their life to God...I should have NO excuse.

So...I open up my lesson book and this is what it says.

Lord, heighten my spiritual senses to see that which is not visible hear that which is not audible sense that which is not tangible believe that which is unbelievable.
Teach me to sort through the noises of this world to hear and discern Your powerful, wonderful, pure, precious voice.

I read that...and I was like "this is definitely the Bible study for me!" We started the video and I just listened and attempted to fill out all of these blanks on my page. I got distracted by what the lady was saying
on the video. She said something that really stuck out to me. She said "I don't want to hear generally what God has to say, I want to hear specifically." That was so amazing to me. To specifically hear what God has to say would be amazing.

To hear God...you have to be apart of the family of God. Without being a part...you won't hear Him...everything will sound like jibber jabber. You have to have the spiritual device to hear God and that spiritual device is received whenever you give you heart to God. You must be a true "sheep" and God must be your true "Shepard". The only thing that should matter is who I belong to. It doesn't matter what I've done in my past...it doesn't matter how much money I have...it doesn't matter if I "fit in"...it only matters that I belong to a MIGHTY GOD! He calls me His!

I am so excited to see what God does in this Bible study and I'm so ready to hear from Him even clearer than I do now. :D

♥ The Ending Of A Healing Process ♥

Wow...today was seriously amazing! I went to church just like every other Sunday; however, this Sunday was different! I felt at peace with everything. I have been praying for God to lead me and give me peace with everything and He did. Finally I feel the best I've felt in a really long time.

I woke up thinking that it was just going to be a normal Sunday with nothing too exciting...well I was wrong. Every worship song that we sung was exactly what we needed! We also sang one of my favorite songs that I haven't heard in a very long tim "Celebrate, Jesus Celebrate". It brought back a lot of memories from when I was young...going to Bible School...and church camp! That was just amazing.

Then we did the invitation and my uncle felt that God was leading him to sing it. He did it. Little does he know, that invitation that he sung spoke to my heart so much! The lyrics are just amazing!

Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the One that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Those lyrics are just what I needed to hear. God spoke to me through them...I know now that I am doing the right thing. I need to remember that God is there for me all the time no matter what. He is amazing. It's okay for me to need God.

After that Chuck, my Pastor, preached and every word that he spoke pierced my heart. God spoke to me so much! I need to stop and thank Him for everything. I need to realize that everything that happens here on earth is for a reason. God knows what He is doing. I need to have faith. One day I will be sitting up in Heaven with Him and I will eternally worship my God with all of His people as One. :D So amazing!

For our communion meditation...Kelsey and Joe sang one of the songs that spoke to me the most through every trial that I have ever gone through. The song is "Word Of God Speak". This song was played at church the exact same week that my relationship with Dalton ended. I believe that this is a sign from God telling me that it's okay for me to move on. It's okay for me to go out in the world again and continue to be the Caitlyn that He created me to be.

Today was the ending of a really long healing process. Thank you God for being right by my side. ♥

Thanks for reading!

♥--Love? Maybe Later--♥

LOVE! Everyone wants it...only few truly have it! Recently...I lost it. Yeah, I once had love. When I say that I mean it! I was deeply in love with this dude! So much that he became so much more important than God in my life...and that's not good. Ya wunna hear the story? Here ya go!

As I said in an earlier post...I grew up in a small town with literally 10 people in my class. 3 girls and 7 guys! All of us were like brothers and sisters. I never ever dated anyone in my class. I only dated 3 people in my entire life. I knew that God wanted me to wait for true love; however, I didn't want to wait! I just wanted to be loved.

I dated this one guy...I was a freshman and he was a senior. Yeah! He was into the same music as me and everything...but he was an atheist! What was I thinking??? I have no clue!  I definitely thought I was cool...until he broke up with me on a bus in front of everyone! I cried my eyes out...wow, looking back on it...it was pretty pathetic!

I dated this other dude after that...I thought "I'm going to find a Christian guy that will stay with me forever" so I dated a pastors kid...yeah that wasn't a good idea either. He turned out to be quite the character. Well...I called that one off.

After this...I gave up! I was like no sir! I'm never gonna be with another guy. They all have cooties and are just gross. Well...here we go again.

There was this boy. I just thought he was the most amazing thing ever! He would sit out in the crowd and do cheers with me while I was cheering. (Yeah, I was a cheerleader.) I talked to him and well he kind of just left. Four years later God allowed him back into my life. I was so happy! We were the perfect couple. I could always count on him to be there for me! Always! I went to prom with him...and it was just amazing! I felt like Cinderella! He made me feel like such a princess. We went to church together. We learned about God together...our relationship started then. We just knew that we were going to get married! I was so excited that I finally found the boy for me! If I could have painted a picture of the guy I wanted to marry...he was it. Read on...

We had made a promise to each other that we weren't going to kiss. That literally lasted for about 6 months. Our love for each other grew and grew....well my love did anyways! We decided then that we were going to get married two years later into our relationship. He had bought me a ring a year after that and we started planning our beautiful wedding day. I spent countless numbers of hours planning this wedding. I just had it all planned out. Notice: I said "I" had this all planned out. I was ready for this next step in our relationship. The days slipped right by and it got about 6 months before our wedding day. At this time, I bought so much stuff for this wedding...including a beautiful wedding dress. My brides maids were so excited and we went shopping to get their dresses. He never seemed too excited about the wedding but I just figured that it was a guy thing. He still acted and treated me like a princess. I fell in love with him more every day.

We then started going to premarital counseling and nothing seemed to be wrong at all. Everything was perfect! Everything was the way that I pictured it! I made my wedding vow to him...in fact I still have it.

"Dalton, you are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. You have made me so happy since the first day that I met you. Thank you for accepting me for who I am and allowing me to be a part of your relationship with God. I promise to always love you, respect you, and to put God first in our marriage under every circumstance. I also promise to be faithful to you. Today, I choose to be your partner in Christ , and commit myself to you for the rest of my life. I love you."

So as you can see from above...I was in this. I was ready to be committed. I had prepared myself for this. I was ready to be his for the rest of my life. We were supposed to bring those to our marriage counseling session that day but he had never written is. He had said he forgot it. I thought it was kind of fishy but in my mind I thought all was okay. This is when things scared me. It was literally about three months before the wedding. I had made so many decorations and I put my heart into everything that I was doing. I started working on our invitations and finally got all of those done. $5,000 later we had our wedding all ready. Everything was just fabulous...until May 6, 2013.

That day was just horrific for me. He had been working and he texted me and said "I need to pray, please don't come over tonight." Immediately I start to freak out because that's not him. He was never that way. I was so scared. I went on a walk by myself...crying my eyes out more and more every step. He was walking too...I didn't know it. We met each other and he said he wanted nothing to do with me for that night. Well I questioned....and questioned...and questioned....as to why? What did I do? He never answered.

After a 3 trips to his apartment he finally said it...twenty days before the wedding...he said it...those words that I never wanted to hear. The words that hurt me...and are still hurting me to this day. "Caitlyn, I don't want to marry you." I cried...my heart was broken. Broken...so broken that I made myself sick. He then proceeded to tell me that he wasn't sure so he was going to pray more about it and then give me an answer.

I waited

and waited

and waited

and waited....

still no answer....so my uncle talked to him and finally we got it out of him. He was done. He didn't want me anymore. He wanted nothing to do with me or my family. He basically said that it was all fake. I hurt so bad. I went home...Grandma held me and prayed with me.

After that I gathered up all of my movie tickets, notes, gifts, my life with him...I gathered it all up and put it in an envelope and met him...praying and hoping that he would take me back...but nope, he was truly done with me.

After that night I met him once more to give him back my wedding ring and all of his belongings...I didn't see him since.

I don't know what I did to cause him to leave me; however, God has his reasons. My heart is still healing over this horrible thing in my life. I don't know why everything happened the way that it did, but I do know that God has someone special out there for me. Everything is in God's timing.

I now have returned my pen back to God to begin a new love story for me. I hate being alone but I know that God is watching out for me...and I truly am never alone. He is always here with me! God's love is bigger than any guy's love that I know...so for now, I am sticking with God's love until he brings a wonderful young man in my life to begin...and finish an amazing love story.

 

Thanks for reading and sorry if I offended anyone. :]

 

♥ Teacher?? Of Course!! ♥

I have a heart for children. Children are so sweet. They are so innocent and usually accept information a lot better than an adult would...this is why I want to be a teacher. Can you imagine being able to share God's word to a child for the first time. To me, that thought is mind-blowing! So many people ask me daily why I want to be a teacher. Some of the questions that I get are crazy!!

1. Do you even know how much money you are going to make?
2. Do you really think that children will remember you?
3. Are you sure you want to spend your whole life teaching?

My answer to all of these questions is yes! Of course I know that I won't be making billions of dollars...and that's perfectly fine with me! It is much more rewarding...and life isn't all about money! I don't want to sit in an office my whole life...no ma'am. I don't know about you but I remember everyone of my teachers and some of them are my biggest inspirations. Some of them not so much. I plan on being a missionary; therefore, I will be teaching wherever God leads me. Being a teacher and a missionary come hand-in-hand.

How cool would it be to be remembered by a child...and be one of their biggest inspirations?? That is the question that keeps me going. Teaching is what I want to do because I literally wouldn't be working at all...I would be doing what I love every day! And plus...I get summers off...hahahaha so BAM!

Thanks for reading :D God bless ya!

♥10 Fun Facts About Me! ♥

1. I am in love with an amazing God! He has helped me through everything in this crazy life! I strive daily to make sure that everything I do, say, and think revolves around Him. My whole point in life is to further His kingdom. He is first in my life. :D
2. My favorite Bible verse is 1 Corinthians 13:1-8 --♥Love Never Fails♥--
3. I play the Ukulele! The ukulele became my buddy about 5 months ago. :D
4. I am a band geek! #TeamTrumpet
5. I love kitties!
6. Yellow is by far my favorite color!
7. I plan on being a missionary in the future!
8. I am going to college to be a teacher and to teach ministry.
9. I love food! Ice cream is my weakness!
10. I love people!
    

♥ My Amazing Family ♥

Hi there :] Caitlyn here! I was just going to share a little bit about myself. I am making this blog because I feel like it is super important that we get our testimonies out there! I live in an itsy bitsy town called Dexter! It's quite fabulous if I do say so myself. I love it here so much. We have about 300 people in this small town. Everyone knows everyone. I could honestly go to every house and tell you who lived there.

I have lived in Dexter my whole life! I live with my amazing grandmother. She adopted me. My life has been rather crazy; however, everything is in God's plan. I have two brothers as well. I just met them about a year ago. That was an interesting experience to say the least! We have grown up completely different and nobody could even guess that we are related.

My Grandma...is my hero! She adopted me out of a very bad environment! Her husband, who passed away, helped her with the whole adoption process! I am so very blessed to have a Grandma who took me in and gave me everything that a girl could ask for.

My mom...well she's an interesting character. I love her because she gave birth to me but sometimes it is just best if you love people from a distance. With her, it's best that we don't have contact. So...I have not talked to my birth mom in a really long time. It's for the best...believe me!

My dad...we get along great! I just recently met him as well! He has an amazing family of his own and they are all just dandy! I look a lot like him...so he can't deny me. ;] haha ...but seriously, I am blessed to have him back in my life.

I literally live a block away from both of my aunts and that is amazing as well! They help me through everything! I know if I ever need anything they are a step away. Also...my cousins! They are all my best friends! We all get along so well! :D I couldn't ask for a better family.